The Giving Tree. Unless you're the tree. Then - The Taking Boy.

As Nick and I settled down for bed a few nights ago, we decided it was time to give reading to Herbert a try. According to the emails I get every week, he could hear us talking and would certainly hear Nick speaking directly into the belly mic. 

 

One of the awesome gifts I have received from coworkers was this - The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. A classic. Or so I was told, I'd never actually read it myself. So imagine my excitement as we cozied up and settled in for Herbert and I's first listen of a book written by one of my favorite poets.

Things got kinda dark kinda fast.

The tree loved the boy...

We have a sentient tree who loves a little boy who frequently visits her. He climbs up her trunk and swings on her branches. He snacks on her apples and sleeps in her shade. The little boy uses the tree and the tree is happy. Like the toys in Toy Story. Playtime = Love. 

 

But time passes. The boy grows older and spends less time with the tree. Going so far as to carve someone else's initials into her trunk. The same declaration of love, so far as the boy understands. But the tree knows she is making the boy happy. And that makes her happy. She loves the boy, you see. His happiness = Her happiness = Love.

Still, time passed...

The boy had all but stopped coming around. The tree was sad. Felt the agony of his absence. Until he appeared one day! "Come, boy. Swing on my branches and you will be happy". Nah, the boy says. He needs money. And one can only assume he's exhausted all other outlets if he's returning to his childhood tree for help. "Do you have any money?" the boy asks. "No," says the tree, feeling the pang of inadequacy, "but take my apples and sell them at market. Then you will have money and you will be happy". So what does this selfish prick do? Without so much as a thank you, he strips her bare of ALL her apples. Carts them off and is gone from her life again.

She is conscious of his absence. She is conscious of her bareness. The boy does not return until later in his life when he, again, needs something. A wife and a house he says. Who could love a selfish man like himself if he doesn't have a house. The tree is so excited to see him that she selflessly offers her branches to him. "Cut my branches and build your house, then you will be happy". So What Does the Selfish Prick Do? Without so much as a THANK YOU, he cuts all of her fucking branches off, carts them away and is gone for even longer. Happiness fades. Memories remain. The tree loves the little boy. The boy, now a man, doesn't give a fuck about the tree.

Time passed, sans apples and branches...

The boy has been gone quite a while. Is the tree happy knowing he's living some great life thanks to things she's provided? Is she depressed that he seems to express no gratitude or understanding of her sacrifice whatsoever? Who knows. The boy, much older now, reappears and has the nerve to be defuckingpressed. A boat, he says. He wants a boat to just float away from it all. Did his wife die? Did she leave him because there was a gaping hole where his heart should have been? "Cut down my trunk and build your boat. Then you can sail away and be happy". SO WHAT DOES THE SELFISH PRICK DO? YOU FUCKING GUESSED IT. DOWN COMES THE TREE. THE INITIALS - PROCLAMATIONS OF A FALSE LOVE. DOWN COMES EVERYTHING LEAVING ONLY A GODDAMNED STUMP. Without so much as a thank you, the man carries off the trunk and the tree struggles to feel happy.

A Stump.

The once beautiful and thriving tree is now an abused stump. Alone. Unloved. And no longer capable of offering apples to anyone else. No longer able to provide swinging branches for someone new. No longer able to shade any other passersby. She is useless. A stump. A worn out, lonely stump. 

 

The boy returns and is now an old man. I fully expected a "What the fuck do YOU want" from the tree, but no. She is a sucker and is glad to see him, but she also knows that she has been taken for all that she had. She has nothing. The old man says he doesn't need much anymore. Just a quiet place to sit and rest. So the Tree, straightening herself up as best as she can, says stumps are perfect for sitting. And the boy, without so much as a thank you, sits his old ugly ass down on her stump. 

 

And the tree is happy.


I have a real fucking problem with this story, in case you hadn't noticed. The Tree exemplifies everything a loving person should be. Selfless. Unconditional. Illogically positive and optimistic. 

The boy exemplifies everything assholes are. Thankless takers with no regard for how their actions affect the people around them. The people that love them. It's all about what they want and trees and love be damned. 

 

What should kids take away from this?

That it's okay to use someone until you're both too old and weak to continue? 

That someone will always love you unconditionally, so no need to feel sorry about anything?

 

I struggle with this. The book angers me. 

This all goes back to my Men Don't Have Feelings theory. Sure, sometimes the man is the tree and the selfish boy is a dame. But those instances are seldom talked about. Probably cause men don't speak. 

 

I am the tree, you see.

And my husband is the little boy.

Neither of us know what love is,

but it seems to always end with him not having to grow up

and me losing more and more of myself.

 

Herbert deserves better than my stump, and his old ass,

and this book. 

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