Drinking For a Toothache

In my last blog entry, I had killed all of my poetry traces and all of my socials, and hung this website by its ankles outside of a three story window. I was fairly certain the fall would not kill it, as my cousin had once fallen out of something similar and had little else to show for it than a funny story. I was content to disappear from everything and indefinitely. So what happened?

Sometimes you don't. I'd like to say that the urge to burn everything to the ground has waned, but the truth is that it pendulates, and likely will forever. Right this very moment, actually, I'd like to do it all again. Trash everything and start all over. Or better yet, trash everything and NOT start all over.

Guess who fucking trashed everything and did not start all over. 

Mandolyn Banjo Kafuckinzooie Davidson. She was one of the greatest writers to ever grudge fuck a keyboard, and she is gone. Two months now, and just like that. And not that I can't understand why she did it, but cripes. There are so few beautiful things here on earth. So few beautiful things one can enjoy from home. We'd gotten to be friends, and that's probably my first problem - if you don't care about anybody, you won't care about anybody! I've been drinking for a toothache. Forgive me. The point is, we'd gotten to be friends and she didn't say a word. I mean, yeah, she wrote what I later realized was a suicide note via poetry, but who knows what's serious? Poets write suicide notes on the regular. She left and the world did not stand still. One the greatest minds of the modern era left and nobody played the trumpet. It was somber and silent and back to the usual. And I hate everything about that. 

Who said there was any good news? (kidding)

Herbert is thriving, that's the good news. He is such a happy little boy. He smiles and sings and laughs constantly. His speech and communication skills have gone through the roof since starting 1st grade. He can write his name now. Still struggles with potty, but I tell you, he's the single greatest proof that two wrongs can indeed make a right. (and two Wrights can still make an airplane)

I'm going to try to go back to tending this site. Get more recordings done. Pluck a string here and there. I'm working two jobs right now so time is, erm, all the more at a premium. But I have to do something, else disappearing will look too much like a cartoon t-bone steak.